| fucker |
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12:23am 19/09/2009 |
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i wish people would stop blaming other people for their bad mistakes. i'm really tired of people hurting one another and especially people who can't take the truth. that shit hurts. too bad you can't take it. you'll be missing out on something wonderful. mood:  pissed off |
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| dieting |
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04:43pm 25/05/2008 |
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Every fucking time i look in the mirror i'm unhappy. Probably because i'm the heaviest right now that i've ever been in my life. I just want to be able to go to a store, ANY FUCKING STORE, and buy a pair of jeans and not have to visit lane bryant or torrid and hate myself after i get home with pants that my other friends could swim in. It's really irritating for my life. Not only that, but i'm extremely unhealthy and can feel myself getting worse and worse. I brought this to the attention of Brook who also feels this way. We just kind of erased those thoughts and went to hang out with Greg for the day. We hadn't eatten breakfast and had all just gotten paid so we went to denny's (another bad idea). BUT while we were there we started talking about Greg's Disney Internship. He will be gone from June to January. We decided that we would go on a diet. All of us. We would all throw in $50 and have a pot and who ever loses the most in percentage of weight over that time will get all of the money. MONEY IS AN AWESOME INCENTIVE!! So on June 2nd we are all going to weigh in at the same time. We are going to take pictures of ourselves and measure around each area of our body. We will take down the measurements and then diet our asses off. On January 5th, we are going to do our final weigh in. So this is all really awesome for me. I feel like i'm finally going to get a hold on my life. I AM ALSO going to keep a seperate livejournal from my normal one under the name "todger_dodger" and i'm going to keep video entries and blog about my weight lose. Along with pictures and an ongoings of the inches and pounds i've lost. I'm fucking excited!! Ok. So, this is just a final word in the whole thing. If anyone else feels like they want to join in, it's a $50 buy in. It doesn't have to be paid now, but there is a contract we have drawn up that says that when the end rolls around, if you didn't win, then you would have to pay the money that you owe. THIS IS SO PROMISING!! It's going to be awesome. So join my blog and watch me lose weight day by day. it's going to rock. and let me know if anyone wants to join!! WOO HOO! LOVE ALWAYS!! <3 Kat mood:  excited |
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| Nutrisystem Days 1-2 |
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12:40pm 26/01/2008 |
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So when we finally got the boxes of nutrisystem and they were fucking heavy...which was awesome for me. i was expecting some sort of little tiny box where everything was in powder form. We split up the cabinets and made an area for brook's breakfasts, lunches and dinners and mine on the opposite side. There was so much food that we had to clean out a drawer and put some of my dinners and desserts in it. Also, after looking at all of the directions for the nutrisystem diet, we found that we would also have to buy some dairy, protein, fatty, and salad items (the salad items we did not buy). The point of the diet is for you to not feel hungry because you eat 5 times a day, but to eat proper portions of food and maintain a healthier eatting lifestyle. Breakfast: I had Scrambled Eggs with Cheddar Cheese. Now, i think anyone else would have given up after opening the cup it comes in. it was powder! but after following the easy to use directions, they magically turned into good scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese. I was astonished, but it was tasty. We also got to eat fruit and dairy with breakfast. Lunch: I think i ate to late, but I did have some yummy cheese tortellini that smelled like chef boyardee. Then i ate a cheese stick with it and was quite content. Snack: skipped it! Dinner: Cheese ravioli with basil sauce, 2 cups of raw mushrooms, 5 large black olives, and a tangelo. Probably one of the most filling dinners i've had in a while. I was suprised to find myself full of all good foods!! Dessert: THE MOST AWESOME STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE BAR I'VE HAD IN MY LIFE!! i wish i had just ordered all of those as my desserts!! You are also required to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day because it helps the food to settle and digest and water is amazing for you regardless. You can also drink unlimited amounts of diet soda, coffee, and tea on this diet. its pretty awesome. __________________ This morning I got up and I had some cereal for breakfast, which was good, but a very small volume, which i'm not used to. But i had some milk and orange juice with it and it was very tasty. About to go drink some water and start drowning myself for today. More to come soon. All in all, it's been a good adventure for 2 days. just 362 days to go!! mood:  loved |
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| diets |
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02:28pm 22/01/2008 |
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i'm the heaviest that i've ever been in my life RIGHT NOW!! which is why brook and I have decided to spend $300 dollars a month to put ourselves on Nutrisystem. It is said that this diet works unbelievably well and I'm in high hopes that it will. if we lose 15 pounds a month for a whole year, we will have spent $3,600 on a diet that will help us drop 180 pounds and i will look FUCKING AWESOME!! There's no turning back. seeing as i will not be paying for my end, i want to show my dad that this is something that i've always wanted and something that i know he has always wanted. I can feel diabetes on the horizon. I've also decided that I'm going to keep a log on here that will chronicle the diet for the first month. If you are looking to lose weight too, follow along and i'll let you know what's goin down! I'm ready to start a new life with the most amazing woman I know! It feels good. mood: excited music: some spanish shit....wtf.... |
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| bored out of my skull |
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03:39pm 29/10/2007 |
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It's tuesday
i'm bored. brook is at work and i just want her to be here with me. but whatever.
i found something to keep my busy as the dogs nap away on the couch.
GAY SURVEY!!
Do you consider yourself Stud , Femme, or Androgynous?
I mean, i guess more on the stud (butch) side, but i don't know. i'm just me.
Do you wear make-up?
If i have to.
Do you wear boy's or girl's clothes?
both, but mostly guys clothes. they are more comfy
Do you wear cologne, or perfume?
ha! cologne
Do you carry a wallet, or a purse, etc.?
a wallet in my back pocket
Do you own any clothing that is pink?
yes actually
Do you carry a pocket knife?
no. i used to, but i don't anymore. too paranoid.
Do you know how to cook?
absolutely. right brook?
Do you like flowers?
I love flowers. i can't keep them alive. I love giving them, but you know...
Do you enjoy shopping?
Yes. i do if i'm with brook and we aren't looking for anything ridiculous. just looking and shopping and buying for ourselves or loved ones.
Do you wear a bathing suit, or a t-shirt & swimming trunks?
swim suit top and trunks
Do you enjoy watching romantic love stories?
yes. brook doesn't though. i love them.
Has anyone ever mistaken you for being a boy?
haha. yes. they have. on the phone, in person, it just happens.
Are/Were you a Drag King?
I wish. i would love to try it.
Have you ever considered having a sex change & becoming a man?
no. i never want to have it. i don't think i'm a guy. i think i'm a lesbian. i am very curious about how it works and what it is like later. i just want to know the basics because i'm very interested in knowing it, but i wouldn't want to do it.
Are you into sports?
depends
Which do you prefer?
basketball to play, football to watch, fuck baseball
Do you hunt or fish?
no. absolutely don't hunt, but i like to fish if i can. haven't done it in forever.
Who's your favorite well-known lesbian?
I love Ellen. I think she's a genius. I also think people talk too much shit about Rosie. i love her and her causes that she figthts for. she is probably one of the most amazing lesbians ever. i find that i am a lot like her.
What's your favorite lesbian movie(s)
I don't really watch too many lesbian movies, but i love Imagine Me & You. I like Birdcage and Die Mommy Die and Hate Crome and Girls will be Girls. i dunno. just random stuff.
Do you ever wear a hat? If so, how do you wear it?
when i don't have time to straighten my hair, i always stuck on a hat. i need a haircut.
Are most of your friends Male or Female?
i dunno. i guess it's kinda split.
Do you own any high heels?
yes. a few pair.
How about a dress or skirt?
yes. i have a few, but don't wear them. no dresses, all skirts.
What about a Tux?
I wish i did.
Do u own anything with a rainbow on it?
haha. take your pick
How Often Do you go the gay clubs?
Now it is only like once a month, but it used to be once a week.
Ever hit on a stranger not knowing her sexuality?
haha. yes.
Ever wore anything to make your chest flat, so you could look like a man?
no. my boobs are big and i like them that way
Do you have your tongue pierced?
nope
Do your parents know that you're a lesbian?
yes they do
So who is your main celebrity crush right now?
jackie warner. hottie.
Who's your favorite character off of The L Word?
Alice and shane
Do you have a deep, medium, or high voice?
deeper voice
Do you have any gay pride tattoos?
nah. maybe someday
Ever been to a Gay Pride Parade?
yes
Do you think homosexuals will ever be able to legally marry?
i hope so.
Do you believe you were born a lesbian/bisexual, or was it your choice?
i don't wish this on anyone. the path to this point was not a choice. i was born this way.
Do you plan on giving birth to your own children, or adopting, etc.?
haven't decided yet. mood:  bored |
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| brookie and me! |
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12:55am 20/10/2007 |
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Brook filled this out on her profile so i decided to fill it out too even though i'm sure a lot of our answers will be the same. let's see what happens. --A Relationship Survey--- 1. Who eats more? I'll agree. I think we are pretty equal. depends on what we're eatting.
2. Who said "I love you" first? Brookie did. But i was right behind her.
3. Who is the morning person? BROOK is the morning person. i can't even open my eyes. it takes all brook has to drag my ass outta bed.4. Who sings better? depends on the music.5. Who’s older? Brookie, by a year and three months
6. Who’s smarter? I think Brook said it right when she said that we both were equally intelligent but on different subjects. 7. Whose temper is worse? I think that the both of us have bad tempers, but brook can sometimes get angry because of stress. i do the same.
8. Who does the laundry? Brook, for the most part. i do it sometimes.
9. Who does the dishes? Our dishwasher.....Brook. 10. Who sleeps on the right side of the bed? Me.
11. Whose feet are bigger? haha. brookie's feets is bigger...but i do wear her shoes.12. Whose hair is longer? brooks!! it's time for a haircut.13. Who’s better with the computer? Both.14. Do you have pets? We have a small farm. Two dogs, two betta fish, and three hamsters.
15. Who pays the bills? we both pay evenly.16. Who cooks dinner? either one of us. most of the time, and this isn't a good thing, we don't cook.17. Who drives when you are together? I do or we will die. not becuase brook is a bad driver, but i'm scared that one day she will pull a sean macnamara and just fucking ram some fucking car because she having a bad day.18. Who pays when you go out to dinner? whomever has money.19. Who’s the most stubborn? You know, i think it's about even. we both are about even when it comes to being stubborn. it's always about different things.20. Who is the first one to admit when they’re wrong? I am, but it's really hard for me to do that. Brookie's being a bitch for her comment on this question ;) i'm j/k. but i usually do.
21. Whose family do you see more? Brook's. I love to go to their house and just get away. it's kind of like seeing OUR family. i consider them my inlaws in a way and so i just really like to go and see them and have a blast.22. Who named your pet? collaboration!23. Who kissed who first? It was DEFINITELY mutual. and what an amazing kiss that was. The best kiss of my life.
24. Who asked who out? No no no. I most definitely asked you out first. GREG asked me to come over and hang out at HIS party. i asked you if you wanted to come back to my place. which you did. and things went from there.
26. Who’s more sensitive? I think Brook is, but i think that i'm not too far behind her. I just don't let it show sometimes.
27. Who’s taller? .....Brook.....28. Who has more friends? Me, but i'm just a very social person. i got it from my family. Mom mostly.
29. Who has more siblings? Me. I have a brother...who rocks my world.
30. Who wears the pants in the relationship? hahaha. well, we both wear pants on different things. i'm the more dominant when it comes to having ideas and doing things and planning things and being the man, but she is more about having the schedule and telling where i need to be and when. it's even pretty much.mood: loved |
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| Sad news |
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06:52pm 07/10/2007 |
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My puppy from home passed away today....
I'm pretty bummed out.
Actually, the whole day was amazing and while i was making noodles in alfredo sauce, after taking pictures of my puppies in halloween costumes, after painting brook's face to look like KISS, after all of that, my mom called me crying and i haven't been ok since really. i want to smoke a whole pack of cigarettes and drink a bottle of wine and eat some canned dog food in her honor.
That's weird, but i guess it's cause she was mine.
Not just like, she was my families dog, but i forced my dad to buy her when she was a puppy. We rescued her from a puppy mill. her belly dragged the ground. She was deaf and my dad always said we should call her DAMNIT because it didn't matter. I knew she understood though. She and Nicholas were really close....Nicholas being my other dog. I don't know how he's going to cope.
When i called home, my brother, through tears, said that Nicholas wouldn't even go near the grave.
I know that she's better off now, but i'll always love her.
For those of you who don't understand, think of it as your child. All my puppies are kind of like my kids. Really annoying sometimes. they pee on things. they like to keep you up at night. But when you look at them, you know it's just right.
I miss her.
Brook has been my life saver today. If she hadn't been here, i don't know what i would have done.
RIP little girl.
HBFL
mood: sad |
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| Life changes |
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01:22pm 05/10/2007 |
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You know what's funny?
Bipolar people are funny. I'm not exactly sure what to think about them.
I was working for a company, that shall not be named, and last monday, i found out that our store was closing. my first reaction was "well shit" cause now i've got to find another job. Job searching sucks.
But here's the ball catcher. Now, the amazing manager i did have was fired and this bipolar scary bitch was put in charge. I mean, call her one day, nice as hell, call her the next, firey demon from the world beyond!
So....
I quit my job today. We were going to be closed in 3 weeks anyway.
My dad opposed saying that I needed to have money. I've got like 120 dollars and 75 coming to me next thursday and 500 next sunday. I think I can manage until i find a job. You know what I'm saying?
Meanwhile, i've got brook and i to worry about with diets and barking puppies that won't STOP BARKING!!!! cute, but pain in my ass.
Whatevs,
Post again soon!
HBFL mood:  drained music: voices in the hallway |
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